Never miss an opportunity to make others happy, even if you have to leave them alone to do it. ~Author Unknown
The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches but to reveal to him his own. ~Benjamin Disraeli
It is often tempting, as a health care professional, or simply as a caring human being, to help someone by giving them what I think they need. Regardless of whether it comes from education and training or not, the gesture, no matter how well intended, can be disempowering.
It implies that something is lacking, that something needs to be fixed. It is a pushing against what is, in that moment, the person, the self. And pushing against only ever meets with resistance by what is. It is somewhat of a quantum expression of Newton’s third law of motion: for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. It implies that, I know better/best what that person’s being requires. It is an easy trap to fall into when I am the professional and someone comes to me with pain or injury. It appears obvious that the resolution of that pain, the changing/healing of that injury is what needs to happen. And that may be a significant part of it. Physical pain, however, does not exist in a vacuum, in the absence of emotional, mental and/or spiritual distress.
It is also easy for a person to become their malady, problem or illness, both for those around them, and for the person him/herself. Cultivating the ability to notice the things about ourselves that are not crying for attention, that are not needing to be fixed, can be valuable in getting through a health (or other) challenge relatively unscathed. I often tell my patients that if we are alive there is far more going right with our body than wrong!
The change, the healing that is sought, only comes in beginning from the point of accepting what is, of the acceptance of the whole person, the knowing that they are not flawed or needing to be fixed to be enough. If I can connect to that place with respect, with honor, with acceptance of what need represents that person in that moment, and with unconditional love, I not only give people what they truly need, but they are empowered to trust themselves in the process — empowered to see the whole of themselves as more significant than the part in need.
©2009 Carrie A. Mayes All Rights Reserved. Feel free to use this article if full attribution is given to Carrie A. Mayes with the following description: Carrie Mayes D.C. is a chiropractor working with people to attain higher levels of health, feel better and enjoy life more. You can find out more about Carrie at www.mayeschiropractic.com.